Letting that canary sing

Being an especially sensitive person is a bit like being a canary in a coal mine – we experience first whatever is the trickle factor into the masses; we are the thin edge of the wedge. Sensitivities that relate to food and lifestyle – we get them emphatically and then make changes, learn about alternatives, that benefit everyone else. When we find something is ‘too much’, to abrasive, more than we can (or should have to) bear, we can bet our bottom dollar that many others are feeling that misalignment too, though maybe they aren’t picking up on, or acknowledging, or obsessing about it quite as much as we are. What is an an itch to others is a full-blown skin-rash to us and, because of this, we can be the very instruments of change because we have to find new ways to be, to survive, to thrive.

Its also like being a living testament to the fact that we are all, at some level, profoundly connected and feel what each other feel; experience pain – and love – as one.

Blue fish

I recently woke with knots in my stomach and such a pessimistic feeling, like a wave of fear had wafted in the window while I slept. There was no apparent reason for it and I noticed it all the more for the fact I so seldom experience such extremes these days – it felt quite alien to me – whereas they used to be my norm. When I arrived at my dance class, all talk was of how it was the first day of school, all the kids – of varying age-groups – had been really emotional and nervous that morning; all the mums were profoundly feeling it too, tears had been shed, everyone was feeling a little raw, a touch anxious and somewhat out-of-sorts. As my own daughter wasn’t due back at school for a week, this clearly wasn’t ‘my stuff’. Yet, it struck me, all around the country and beyond, countless parents were watching their kids go off to school for the first time or back into ‘the system’ of exams and social pressures, facing a drastically altered routine after the lazy days of summer; those kids themselves were fronting-up to their own many anxieties to do this. Heightened emotions must hang thickly in the air when this many people feel something so similar all at once, like unseen radio-waves sent between us all; so, had I tuned in to this in my sleepy state that morning; was this my anxiety wave?

Fourteen years ago, the unthinkable happened to us all and rocked our world. To anyone you ask, 9/11 is one of those ‘Kennedy’ moments; we all know exactly what we were doing at the time. Above all, I remember my life was already feeling extremely dark, I was in a very troubled place circumstantially and was holding it all in, bottling it. Fundamentally, I was in fear for my survival, was hiding the fact that my current life, in a deeply unhappy marriage, with a very young child depending on me, was quite untenable yet I lacked the resources to leave and was terrified of repercussions. When that terrible, unthinkable thing happened ‘outside of me’, it was like my insides exploded outwards, the darkness and fear I carried spilled out like black treacle into the streets and became an external thing that turned my world dark. All the subsequent paranoia, the relentless media spin, the insistence that you could trust no one – not even your neighbour or co-passenger on a train – all the ‘tightening up’ and ‘locking down’ of everything, were only matched by all the tightening up that I experienced on the inside, resulting in mounting pain and ever-more experiences of separation. Yet I only see that parallel now, with the benefit of hindsight because, when I was in the thick of it, there was no marvelling at the similarities.

When the outside world seems to match, to confirm, our darkest inner fears, a remarkable thing happens. Caught up in such a fear ‘sandwich’, it is almost as though we finally convince ourselves of our own power to manifest whatever we focus on, only, we also become deeply afraid of the realisation and what this means. Once this fear-vice is set in place, holding us in its grip, all it takes is a particular kind of news item on the radio or one of those winter days that look as though the sun has failed to rise and we are ‘there’ in that place again, can feel triggered to the very core of our DNA, caught up in a perpetual horror story of our own creating. That era when the deepest inner fears and the outer ones suddenly seemed to match-up was when I lost my health footing…I see that now; almost as if I was experiencing PTSD and perhaps we all were, at some level or another. It was also the point when it as was as though nothing much could really get much worse…I had been levelled, emotionally…and so there was only one place left to go and that was ‘upwards’.

If this arbitrary line of thought might have seemed audacious to me at the start of writing this post, a ‘chance’ film I watched last night gave it the nod. I selected the wry comedy script of “5 Flight up” (released as “Ruth & Alex” in the UK), brilliantly delivered by Diane Keaton and Morgan Freeman, for its humorous and gentle plot: an older couple are faced with selling their apartment after forty years because it has no lift to help them cope with imminent old age. It was an engaging film, even without the cleverly woven subplot whereby a lorry is jackknifed on the Brooklyn Bridge and its Moslem driver (probably embarrassed at single-handedly shutting down the entire NY traffic grid) runs away and goes missing. This develops swiftly into a full-blown terrorist alert and media manhunt, then a tirade of cultural suspicion born of hysteria and fear. The desirability (thus ‘value’) of property in the vicinity of the bridge becomes the next casualty of the erratic, knee-jerk behaviour that is suddenly the norm while layers of suspicion between people over second-guessed motives rapidly exaggerate to the point of rudeness and aggression. Such is the extent to which we hold the power to crumble the walls of our world with our deepest fears. No less do we do that within the ‘landscape’ of ourselves and to the cell ‘walls’ of our own body when we question their ‘value’; when we feel under attack from all angles, hardly knowing whether that ‘attack’ is coming from the inside or out.

Canary swirlsSo, on the basis of this thin edge of the wedge theory, how much did we all plummet into a form of post traumatic stress syndrome following what happened fourteen years ago…and, if so, how far have we now recovered and, many of us, grown from the entropy of it because, when pushed to such a brink, the only things left to do are to fall apart completely or to look to our source for clues as to what is still standing in the rubble (that which truly comes from the heart and cannot be threatened or destroyed) and then to rebuild ourselves in a whole new way around that. In a very real sense that we could see with our eyes, ground zero connected us all in the very moment it manifested; there was hardly a person on earth that wasn’t simultaneously aware of, and profoundly impacted by it and that moment of alignment must have triggered a wildfire signal coursing between all of our cells, unifying us all through the emotional shock wave that we were experiencing as one. Collectively, there was only one place we could all go now…

The latter is my story of the last fourteen years. At some crucial point I looked at my own ground zero…looked deeply into that space, raking through the rubble… and then I rebuilt myself anew, from the inside out. I look around me and I see how, in ways both subtle yet compelling, we all did that together. The world was never going to be the same, no…nor should it be; but then my inner canary warning-system tells me there is much to sing about in the new world we have since created. Together, we have grown and we have learned something so very important about ourselves; if we truly fear that we hold the power to manifest whatever lurks in our deepest, darkest crevices then we must surely, now, know that – together as one – we also hold the potential to overspill all the love in our hearts until that becomes the very landscape of our world.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson

Science is steadily catching up with the reality that heart resonance is an extremely tangible thing and that human hearts, en masse, can alter and influence outcome in the ‘outside’ physical world that we live in. Greg Braden and Lynn McTaggart are two extremely eloquent individuals on this and I recommend their many book on the topic.

When 9/11 happened, satellites 22,000 miles away in space began to register changes in the magnetic field of the Earth. The curiosity this sparked led to what is called the Global Coherence Initiative Project. This from their website:

Scientists know Earth’s resonant frequencies approximate those of the brain, heart and autonomic nervous system, and studies show surprising relationships between health and behavior and solar and geomagnetic activity. Findings support GCI’s hypothesis that Earth’s magnetic field carries important biological information linking living systems.

GCI is helping people realize the interrelation of these forces and the ever-deepening resonance and nurturing of spirit precipitated by coherent heart-based human connections. GCI seeks to demonstrate that increasing heart connections will lead to intuitive solutions for global challenges and transformation of our world and consciousness.

Lynne MacTaggart conducted a Peace Intention Experiment, lined up with the tenth anniversary of 9/11, to evaluate whether a group focus of holding an intention to lower violence in Afghanistan could have an impact upon levels of conflict during that time and the outcome was extremely promising. Similar movements and experiments are being carried out worldwide, on a regular basis. Her book ‘The Field’ explains that everything is connected (somewhat appropriately, given the above topic) by the Zero Point Field (ZPF) – a sea of energy that reconciles mind with matter, classic science with quantum physics, and science with religion. Lynne describes ZPF as “a cobweb of energy exchange” and she calls on numerous quantum physicists to provide an impressive amount of research data and other discoveries to support this theory.

Above all, these kinds of study hold so much potential to teach, and encourage, us in our daily lives since we can no longer consider ourselves to be separate from others or from the experiences they are having. Rather than feeling overwhelmed by this, we can accept it as the evidence that our hearts have always sought; suggesting that, together through the power of intention, we can heal all that there is to heal. When we hold a state of heart coherence in our own bodies it generates countless biochemical changes that stimulate wellbeing, longevity, health and rejuvenation; when we hold a state of heart coherence with each other, side by side, we hold the power to utterly transform the world.

For more on the GCI and heart coherence visit the HearthMath Institute website.

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