Just saying. Because the underlying premise of health ‘issues’ is always that something is ‘going wrong’.
I know that feeling. Hard not to get sucked into it when every new, weird and wonderful, symptom challenges your ability to remain measured and calm and to not draw pessimistic conclusions, sweeping you off into the unknown or a world where the internet provides ready access to alarming anecdotes. But wouldn’t something wonderfully new happening do all that to you too? Wouldn’t it announce itself, first, through new body sensations, and not all of them necessarily comfortable ones? What are ‘comfortable’ sensations anyway; are they simply the most familiar, the ones we have had for the longest time, the ones we get to know the best when life is allowed to get repetitiously dull, like we know the feeling of the same old cushion beneath our derrière because we literally sit on it for several hours every day? And what are uncomfortable sensations; at what other times do we shrug them off as completely un-alarming? How about the popping of our ears as our plane lands on the concourse at the start of a great trip? Or birthing pains? Sometimes we need shaking up a little, to be given a clue that something we hoped for is really happening; at some level, we probably asked to feel that blow-by-blow transition into something new in order to know it as real. It’s the labels we give these sensations, the fears we hang around them, that trip us up the most.
I’m feeling torn (and just a little more each day) between wanting to share useful tips, minor successes and new research in this space to help others along the bewildering recovery path and yet, increasingly, wanting to shed the whole mindset of ‘recovery’ and ‘illness’, of ‘symptoms’ and ‘disease’. This topic is leaden, innocuous and persistent, these very mindsets hold us in a place of considering ourselves as having ‘something go wrong’ as soon as we use that old terminology (and if you don’t know what I mean, just try visiting a doctor without, at some level, noticing that you somehow feel worse for having had to label what you are experiencing). The language of ‘illness’, is quite literally, a minefield waiting to blow up in our faces, as people are finally starting to realise about all those ‘anti-cancer’ campaigns that use the terminology of war and battle. So how do I share the useful bits in this space, what new language do I create to do this? I confess, I’m really not that sure yet but I intend to try, going forwards.
For a practice run, what are my own wierdest and most pressing ‘symptoms’ right now and what are my choices when it comes to interpreting them (because they are very real and thought-consuming experiences, there’s no ‘just ignoring’ them when they affect my quality of life this much).
One of the most persistent, lately, is the awareness that my body pH is really struggling to find its own level, its equilibrium, for all I eat an extremely good diet (and the slightest waver from that position sends it into a temporary chaos that is seldom worth the brief celebration that eating a more relaxed diet constitutes). Its been on the top of my writing list to share about the ‘issue’ of lactic acid (which I referred to briefly in my post When you feel like you’ve been tipped over) and which is such a core ‘problem’ for people with fibromyagia. Something about us seems to make our bodies generate bucket-loads of lactic acid, even when we are relatively inactive, and then struggle to shift it in the normal way – as though we are running marathons without even knowing it. I could regurgitate all the science on this topic but I won’t but, rather, attach two of the most useful links below so you can explore for yourselves.
What I am suddenly much more interested in asking is, what if we literally are running that marathon, what if all our cells, our nerves, our muscles are in a regular state of recovery from ‘running’ one hell of a race, of being fired up like they just gave something their all because, at some level we aren’t consciously aware of yet (though many of us are getting there), we are being activated, stimulated and set into motion, building new body structures, all the time – in the background of our lives – like a piece of upgrade software that is processing away on our motherboard, running in the background of all our conscious activities, even (if not especially) when we are asleep.
One of the key times that I find myself in lactic acid surplus is in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning; I can distinctly feel and taste how acidic my cells are, can tell from the burning feet, the sore and aching hands and wrists, the burning and cramped leg muscles and so on that my cells have been busy in the night. Recently, I’ve taken to drinking half a teaspoon of *bicarbonate of soda (baking soda) in water – as used by many athletes – during the night or on waking and have found that this helps, which confirms to me that acidity build-up in the muscles is the issue, especially when I am lying there ‘inactive’, as though the converse is actually true. Though the ‘logical’ conclusion is that several hours of physical inactivity and lying still for so long cause lactic acid to pool and gather in certain limbs and muscles, this doesn’t help explain why it is being generated in the first place, given I am not exercising at the time (can this really be a surplus left over from the daytime), and its certainly a truism that my dreams are anything but inactive these days. A correlation I am noticing very strongly is that lactic acid build-up corresponds to times of solar flare and geomagnetic storms, which only seems to confirm my oft-repeated theory that these play a significant part in fibromyaglia-type symptoms. Put together a solar event with the hours of being in bed and, very typically, there is the scenario for me to wake up feeling the most health-challenged of all, often seizing-up into an ‘I just sprinted to the finish-line’ type muscle cramp as soon as I move my body!
Assuming that the night is when we are rebuilding our bodies, regenerating cells and – as many people now believe – upgrading, downloading, evolving, ascending (or whatever you prefer to call it), then the exercise-weary body on waking would make perfect sense. Instinctively, the part played by the sun in delivering such an upgrade would seem to slot nicely into such a theory. Suddenly, this does not seem to be something to get so alarmed about – a mindset that could be applied to every ‘symptom’ out there, once we accept that we are not experiencing fibromyalgia from within some finite, static, pre-defined, fully understood state of humanity, a mere bundle of cells and their so-called predictable reactions but from within an ever-evolving life form that is heading into all-new and wholly unexpected territory.
Plus I’m getting very tired of reading the suggestion that ‘health issues’ are a sign of not doing so well, of not keeping up with this big evolution, of having work still to do, of holding a lower vibration or of blockages in our energy field. That is not my reality at all – physical symptoms are not a sign that we are doing anything wrong in my book; in fact, quite the opposite, we are doing some really big work here and this is frontline stuff!
The rationale behind how to mitigate ‘symptoms’, how to encourage recovery and to make the body more comfortable, working consciously with the body to help guide it towards a version of normality that we can bear to be with, day-to-day, remains valid just as I’ve always written about it; these practical steps are the way that we go to meet the reality that we intend to manifest for ourselves. Much of this can be realised through diet, plenty of rest, appropriate supplements, taking steps to alkalise the body (but not too much…), naturally supporting hormones, adjusting old worn-out attitudes to ‘female’ issues such as PMS and menopause (these are not signs of our body failing us – quite the opposite), by consistently loving ourselves and holding space for the version of that self that has nothing ‘going wrong’ plus allowing that everything we are going through is, at some level, supporting our highest evolution…Also, by addressing one extremely important matter by checking-in with “how much do I really want to be here” and then asking ourselves how often we are reaffirming that by appreciating life thoroughly because there is no room for ambivalence here; any uncertainty on such a core matter will certainly play-out in our cells, sooner or later.
If we can do all of that and then just know – and I mean deeply know – that everything is alright rather than falling into catastrophic thinking and ‘illness’ mentality; if we can allow that, through these transitions in our cells, we are escorting in something extremely new and marvellous, something to get excited then I just know transformation can be realised as a living and breathing reality. By holding a clear space for a version of self for whom nothing is ever ‘going wrong’ – literally, saying “all is well” out loud if necessary – its amazing how the little panics, the contractions and worst ‘symptoms’ start to sail on by without touching the sides, leaving far more room for that reality to present itself in our daily experiences.
Is Lactic Acidosis Behind Many Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / Fibromyalgia Symptoms? – Ken Lassesen on Health Rising
Fibromyalgia – possible causes and implications for treatment (discusses glycolysis and lactic acid in the muscles) – Dr Myhill
* While baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) is advocated by a great many athletes and ‘how to alkalise your body’ websites, I would suggest proceeding with extreme caution, especially if you have other health issues going on as this can have a profound effect on other important mineral levels – for instance, it can raise sodium levels and lower potassium. I use no more than half a teaspoon once a day, as needed (and never before or straight after food as this depletes essential stomach acid), and am still closely watching my reactions to evaluate whether to continue. In preference, I am about to go back to taking a regular dose of MSM (methylsulfonylmethane) which – I have just remembered – helps the body’s cells to release lactic acid and which I have had good very results from in the past.
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