My health has taken a massive leap forwards this year; in fact, I honestly feel superb. After so much stop-starting over the last decade, I can’t hep noticing that the biggest difference is that I have reached the point where my only desire is to live that long-sought “healthy life” in a great feeling body and have no patience left with anything less than being there already; I simply won’t put my life on hold any longer. Living immersed in symptoms that distracted me daily was like a constant anchor into the “now” and I needed to make that quantum leap, so I did. With no orchestration on my part, I see how my whole mindset has subtly yet significantly shifted since the start of the year. Above all, I’ve stepped up my yoga practice to a more intense and coherent daily routine, plus a weekly coaching session (the benefits of having a yogi-husband), that presupposes I can do everything on that list and will only get better at it, day by day by day. There’s no more compromise, no more “can’t”, no more conditionality based on a presupposition that my body can do any less than anybody else’s; from which perspective I am now noticing just how great my body is for a woman of nearly 50 rather than starting from the base-line of thinking there is anything wrong with me. I feel excited about my own physicality and I never loved my own body, and what it is capable of, more than I do right now. I have developed great respect for what it can do, yet I have taken the reins of what I believe it is capable of, asserting that I know better than some of its learned behaviours.
Going in at this tangent, I’m marvelling at the daily transformation of my body and how strong and capable I have become in record time; how much I am loving the feel of my body and can honestly say I feel in better shape than I have for decades. This last week, I’ve spent time in the garden shifting heavy furniture, shovelling gravel and more, coping amazingly well with the demands I have put on my body and with no adverse effects including none of the chronic fatigue that used to wipe me at the merest exhertion. A friend seeing me for the first time since Christmas remarked how I look completely different….stronger, more toned, lithe, upright, healthy and glowing; she couldn’t believe it. I know! I can feel it from the inside and it’s the feeling I give conscious fuel to just as soon as I wake up in the morning, as the very last thought before I sleep and as my “go to” whenever I feel grateful for my health, which is often; in fact I feel Amazonian! I’m no longer benchmarking myself by my health-past or even the occasional dip in my health-present but, rather, identifying myself strongly with a future me that enjoys awesome health and stops traffic with how glowing and fit they look, regardless of age. I smile at the tongue-in-cheek part of that daydream and yet…I know…I owe it to myself to envision my very best, most fit and radiant future since its mine as soon as I tune into it so unwaveringly that I no longer doubt that its waiting for me to claim it as my present. I see this so clearly now that I find I just want to shout about it so that everyone can stop compromising their future with the compulsively low expectations that are, really, the only obstacle on their path (pause for laughter as “I can see clearly now the rain has gone” has just started playing on my iPod like an emphatic nod from the universe).