In many ways, looking back at 2017, it looks like I did or "achieved" next to nothing (and I'm not the only person to be saying this) and yet...sometimes, when we take a breather, its the most important thing we can be doing. Some thoughts on some of the powerful things that I feel I got out of a the long slow breath of 2017; perhaps you too.
When we focus on doing exactly what we are capable of doing, right here and right now, we let go of the self-torture of "oughts" and "have to"s and we become more compassionate towards everyone else, too. Its the ultimate couldron of creation to act out of what is available to you right here and now...not some projection that has you over-reaching yourself until you topple over. On so many levels, its the ultimate self-loving act.
"Stress" has been made like a see-saw in our world (if we choose to engage in its ride...); the more our culture has forced this need to work harder, faster, closer to the edge, the more a desperate need for the drug of adrenalin-fuelled pastimes has risen and become quite the industry for those who benefit from both. When we extricate ourselves from such a lifestyle, we are often left with just one adrenalin source in our lives...and its the need to maintain enough money to keep a roof over our head. No wonder it claims centre stage of our early morning wake-time; the time when we should be spinning and spiraling our greatest desires and aspirations. But is there another way; one that gets us off the see-saw ride? I believe there is, though it may sound way too simple to any naysayers...
Its our natural state to go to ground at this time of year; a bit like the glorious red maple leaves which, in my garden, are being mulched by rain and heavy dew to become next year's earthy sustenance wherever they fall. We go to ground not to vacate ourselves or deplete but to go into our most authentic selves more deeply, refinding the soulful aspect that brighter days tend to chase away with their spotlight and busy-ness. No wonder this time of the year is known as All Souls; for its not just the souls of the dead but all of our spirits that shake off flesh and bone and take off to fly free in all the hours of dreaming and slowing down as days become dark and cold. This hibernation is more akin to the seed that is fuelling itself with new imaginings of what it wants to be next year; the metamorphosis that looks like dying but which is really all about creativity and aspiration.
How do you reconcile a desire to "tread softly on the earth" and all your particular health requirements and preferences with the unpredictability and other variables of travel when you go on holiday? And what is a holiday or vacation meant to do for you? La Vimea is a unique "biotique" hotel in the South Tyrol that helped me to find out what was possible to achieve now and (hopefully) even more easily in the future...
We all adopt these paces in life; finding our groove...are we happiest in the fast lane, are we more middling or are we slow and steady. Should I say, we should find our own groove...yet so many of us live to the pace that is expected of us (or one that was set for us by the metronome of our childhood or cultural entrainment) and this "wrong pace" for our constitution can make us so unwell in the long-term; burning us out or even slowing us down to the point of long-simmering frustration with a life that doesn't keep apace with our longings and aspirations. When we pitch it just right, we land in our sweet spot, and our natural melody of life simply comes forth, asserting over the noise of everything else that may be going on. Our tempo may change according to time of day or the season but the key thing is that we are hearing its direction from somewhere within and then attuning ourselves to it, listening for the clues of our inner conductor as we swell our sound or soften it in ways that feel the most natural to our innate constitution.
Do you struggle, I mean really struggle, to adjust to getting back into your body in the mornings? Even when there's absolutely nothing to worry about, there's no stress, no unhealthy lifestyle habits to explain it, nothing that could be making your cortisol peak when you wake, do you somehow know that you are treading a very fine line as you re-enter your conscious state each day? Have you had to entrain your family to tread very softly around you first thing in the morning because loud noises or sudden announcements get your heart racing, switch on pain? Even when you are perfectly chilled in your mind, ecstatic with life even, is this your "normal" experience of waking; like it's a precision manoeuver? Its a vata kind of a thing...and there are things you should know about how to make this easier.
If you have a vata dominance, how do you ground that airy, high-spirited, out-there, mercurial constitution long enough to find your way about in a physical body...and then stay there in a way that feels comfortable and sustainable? Here's what I've learned so far:
Tuning into your own most-treasured time of "void", of a feeling you once stored-up for such a day as this, a distant memory of what it truly feels like to have nothing to do and nowhere to go can be such a gift to yourself. Especially if you can allow yourself to accept it as it is, on behalf of who you are right now, not making it about nostalgia as though you are trying to recapture some long-lost essence of your past when "life was better" or "you were more deserving of it". The biggest challenge is to allow it, to really give yourself over to it and not seek to make it into another project by orchestrating it or making it conditional. How easy do we find it to be in void and not allow the mind to seek something to do, to worry about or a way to make the time more "useful" or "constructive" (as we tend to regard it when we constantly keep ourselves busy)? Yet empty space is anything but lacking in use; and it might be the very thing we are needing most, the refinding of which will be the missing jigsaw piece that makes all else suddenly fit together. Like the hidden portal we couldn't see for looking, it might be the doorway to exactly where we were trying so hard to get to with our minds...and there it was, all the time.
The many and varying, often uncomfortable, symptoms of a woman's mid-life transition are all versions of this metaphorical (you could even say, metaphysical) "itch". Really, its transformation underway...a metamophosis...and in making it mundane, by denying it or even making it seem like a problem, a curse, we fight back against what is really like a spreading of wings from the chrysalis; bewilderingly, disorientingly beautiful. Our culture has done terrible things to downplay the stage of her life that is all about female empowerment and there is a minefield of superstitious beliefs and misinformation around it; no wonder we hurt and struggle our way through it. When we welcome and encourage that transition, we allow for it to be smoother...and there a number of reasons why we might want to be doing that. These are, you could say, the times we have always been waiting for...
Living whole 