Exploring the link between hypermobility and neurodiversity

The very fact of constantly having to adapt, to meet alien-feeling situations on their terms, when others just slide into circumstances like a hand into a well-fitting glove, exhausts systemically when we don’t even notice how much we are having to do it, how much we are constantly having to bridge the gap between what is and how we are. This may have been damaging our health for years, as surely as long term smoking or heavy drinking, only we didn’t realise it until it was too late to avoid the consequences to our health. This is why I am passionate about helping other high adapters, women especially, to realise, embrace and advocate for their neurodiversity early on in life. It seems to me, autistic women often have a sort of hypermobility of a more subtle kind; one that enables them to become whatever people expect of them…but at what cost.

Who I am, how I choose to live; an autistic reappraisal, one year in

Diagnosing as autistic is just the very first step. Reappraising you choices, what truly motivates you, how and when to engage with others, how much of yourself you have been giving up to conform and what you are going to have to let go of to become more authentically yourself...these are the next steps in the ongoing journey of overhauling your autistic life.

Misophonia…another “oh, that’s just my autism” moment

Turns out I am one of probably thousands of people who been profoundly affected by misophonia all of my life and yet didn't know what it was and could never put a name to it (or quite dispel some of the shame of it)...until I began to research the effects of autism more and more by listening to other women's real-life stories. Sharing in case this is any of you too.

High-functioning

High-functioning autism is often missed or misunderstood, not least because those with it so often overcompensate for their traits. The term has also been phased out in "official" quarters and yet it still applies to just so many people, not least those who have reached midlife undiagnosed (and especially women). Tackling this controversial topic on behalf of those of us who still fall between the cracks, with a link to some useful resources to help you find your way.

Two horse buggy: learning to drive the double horse team of autism and ADHD

Burnout or even trauma can be a very real risk if you are autistic and find social engagement really challenging or have poor track record; however, it can also be a highly positive "stim" from which you may get far more positive effects than you know. How to reconcile this two pony team, and the completely different directions they pull in, can be a lifelong conundrum if you happen to be both autistic and ADHD but getting it right can potentially lead to far better health and a vastly improved quality of life.

Autism and feeling too much (not too little)

There are so many areas of human experience where autism is assumed to mean less than or shortfall whereas it’s often a case of more…so much more that it’s untenable and excruciating to be in the experience. Sometimes, the very appearance of so-called shortfall should prompt the question “is way too much going on in there, so much so that it can’t be handled or made sense of, can’t be articulated or processed in conventional ways?”.

Freeze response: the intersection of autism, trauma and chronic illness

What happens when huge amounts of energy get stuck in the body as trauma, leading to a freeze response or shutdown? How does this intersect with chronic conditions such as CFS, fibromyalgia, sensory defensiveness or other syndromes and does being autistic make you more prone to this? How can somatic therapies be used to discharge years of trauma? Exploring through my own deep-dive into the territory.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is debilitating, devastating, isolating and often quite unbearable and yet nobody that has not experienced it for themselves can imagine what it truly feels like on the inside; there is no point of reference for anyone that isn't wired that way since it is the product of particular genetics plus epigenetics combined with a lifetime of trauma. As a common experience of both autism and ADHD and something I experience myself, this important topic has been on my list of most daunting things to cover for quite some time...here goes.

“Let me share an example from my life” (neurodivergence in the context of relating)

Nurodivergents and neurotypicals are sometimes poles apart in their communication styles but imagine if we could just try to meet on some common ground whilst accepting those differences (that last part is key…nobody should be required to change themselves). Isn’t this exactly where the best hopes of humanity lie, as in, meeting across the so-called impossible divide?