Considering a hunger for positive feedback, recognition and praise as a main driver for a lot of people with ADHD, leading to a euphoric state on the rare times we ever receive it. Such positive feedback can turn us into a "whirling dervish" of positive energy and enable us to turn all that apparently erratic energy around and apply it to striving, thriving and making good things happen.
Such as we are experts in anything, those of us with long term health issues also possess a rich hoard of hard-won experience and insight into what made us chronic in the first place. So, what can we take from all the years of navigating our way through the experience of chronic illness as a means to averting a delayed recovery from covid or other trigger virus, especially when we notice any similarities with what we have been through before? Can we now take the overview in order to notice and better understand the patterns, weak spots and trip-wires of chronicness before they become ingrained this time?
Before you realise you are autistic (if you are), all you tend to know is the outline of your autistic self, as in, the shape that is left where you don’t fit in with other people’s experiences. It’s a bit like drawing a portrait of someone by filling in the background and leaving a space where the person is standing; what they call a negative space composition, in art terms. You get to know what you aren’t…but not what you are. Such an approach tells you a lot about all the misfitting bits but nothing much about yourself and that, in itself, can be a source of ongoing trauma because it can leave you feeling like a blank. Finding out you are autistic begins a process of filling in all the blanks and getting to know who you actually are.
Looking at what we already know about the effect of chronic unaddressed toxic stress and early life trauma-responses, specifically from the perspective of neurodivergence, and its possible link to chronic health issues.
Unnecessary exposures to sadness, negativity and grief suck vital life force out of people; take this from a hypersensitive person who knows all too well the cost to health. Learning how to fiercely curate the amount of exposure to negativity that we can cope with as an exercise in self-compassion.
Exploring anomalous experiences, who amongst us tends to have them, can they be related to neurodiversity and is a calm and pragmatic openness to them a useful thing to have when tackling stuck energy and unhealthy situations?
We tend to think we want some extremely strong version of what we think we long for on the full spectrum of choices, and often it’s the very opposite of what we currently have, but that’s usually just a reaction. The best life we can ever live is never a reaction but a choice. Making our own choices, rather than reacting, is how we get to upgrade our experiences of life by becoming mindful of what we really want and going after that. Life becomes its own upgrade when (perhaps forced by circumstances that challenge what we thought we knew) we get to surprise ourselves with what we find out about ourselves and then to be utterly, ruthlessly, honest about what we really want, which often turns out to be quite different to what we used to think that we wanted, perhaps for a very long time until now. This is the gift of the thing that challenges our normality, whether that's an illness or some other set of circumstances that, initially, seem to present more of something you craved...perhaps more time, more quiet, a slower pace...but as ever, there is a happy medium to be found. Realising this is the very first step to attaining it!
At times, chronic illness has appeared like a more "socially acceptable" screen for so-called ADHD deficits that I am embarrassed to own up to....because I know, deep down, that they are not all that I have to offer, its just that the domestic routine of life fails to bring out my better qualities and it takes more variety and positive stimulation from life for me to light up and shine my unique light. When I don’t feed my need for positive hyperactivity, it presents as internal hyperactivity, mainly “overthinking” and then, given time, it ultimately presents as more and more physical symptoms....
Exploring some quite compelling links between sensory meltdown, shutdown and synesthesia and a possible causal relationship between them, explored from a personal-anecdotal and research point of view.
In the case of those of us most sensitive to environmental factors, is "weather (or whatever it is) salience" a more apt term to describe a higher degree of awareness that leaves other people wondering what on earth we are talking about and does synaesthesia sometimes get recruited by our neurodiverse brains as a means of extending the basic sensory tools so that we get to gather far more "data" from our environment in an attempt to better "systemise" our experience of the otherwise random-seeming world we live in?
Living whole 