Coming out as you truly are, to yourself and to others, can be so utterly monumental, so pivotal, to your own personal wellbeing; yet also something which cannot be adequately conveyed to anyone who has not ever had to feel like an exile fumbling about in the darkness of their own bewildering life until this point. Nonetheless, it's an experience that deserves celebrating and encouraging, as I do today in these few words on the topic.
What happens when huge amounts of energy get stuck in the body as trauma, leading to a freeze response or shutdown? How does this intersect with chronic conditions such as CFS, fibromyalgia, sensory defensiveness or other syndromes and does being autistic make you more prone to this? How can somatic therapies be used to discharge years of trauma? Exploring through my own deep-dive into the territory.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is debilitating, devastating, isolating and often quite unbearable and yet nobody that has not experienced it for themselves can imagine what it truly feels like on the inside; there is no point of reference for anyone that isn't wired that way since it is the product of particular genetics plus epigenetics combined with a lifetime of trauma. As a common experience of both autism and ADHD and something I experience myself, this important topic has been on my list of most daunting things to cover for quite some time...here goes.
When an emotion gets buried in the body, what does it look like years later and are there links to chronic health conditions? How are unidentiified autism or ADHD linked to fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, as is emerging? What is our body trying to tell us when it seems so "stuck" and is this a clue to our recovery?
I was at an outdoor concert in an idyllic setting listening to some of my favourite music and yet, less than 5 minutes into it, I realised some part of me was screaming an existential scream, knowing I was going to be sat there like this for the next couple of hours. Admitting I have ADHD, that I am wired to need more dopamine than most, that I am rewarded by all kinds of stims (and not all are created equal...plus some are much harder to come by when your health is compromised) is proving to be a massive step towards understanding chronic illness, how it came about and why it perpetuates.
Some of us have thinner boundaries, we perceive more and process far more deeply but is this a mistake, a curse or an error in our makeup...or are we simply looking at this all wrong?
When you live with EDS, MCAS, POTS or any of the several forms of neurodiversity its so important never to cease experimenting with what triggers or supports you best as your particular mix of ideal exposures and conditions is likely to be quite different to the next person's. Take, for instance, the effects of the sun...
When extra intelligence, intensity and sensitivity cross over, they make quite the package...and it can be extremely challenging! Exploring what this looks like, and how to work positively with these traits. for ever-increasing fulfilment and joy.
We mostly have such an awkward relationship with our emotions yet, really, they are our closest allies, if only we knew how to work with them. Deep diving the colourful world of emotions and how these relate to healing, releasing and becoming ourselves.
There's a degree of sensitivity that goes way beyond the standard definition of being highly-sensitive and turns into pathology and lost quality of life. It is as isolating as it is impossible to explain to others and can feel as though it came from nowhere, or perhaps has been there all of your life in one form or another, perhaps amping-up with the passing of time or added stresses and trauma, yet often making no sense at all in the context of how well you look after yourself, strive for a healthy life and cultivate positive attitudes and yet, all through your nervous system, there are triggers, over-reactions and pain. Its as though your nervous system is laid wide-open to the sky rather then held, or supported, by life. Exploring sensory defensiveness, where does it come from, how do we tackle it (because, apparently, we can with good results and thus I am). This will be the first of my shares on the topic as I progress through the protocol.
Living whole 