ADHD

When chronic fatigue meets an ADHD brain

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

Just like it’s much harder for a hypermobile person to recover from an extended period of inactivity and lack of appropriate load-bearing (since I learned this the hard way, I have now heard it coorroberated by many reliable sources of hypermobility-meets-chronic fatigue information) I suspect it’s much harder for a neurodivergent person to recover from extended lack of cognitive load bearing. In fact, across both areas, my whole view of pacing has had to be changed since I was busy writing about it last year, with my source information taken from more neurotypical outlets at that time. So what’s important here is to "use it" in order not to "lose it"…yes…but to adapt the way we “use” and “move” to what we can genuinely cope with at this time, be it recumbent exercise or micro dosed cognitive excursions that we enjoy but don't sustain for too long at a time.

Super syndrome: taking a unified approach to all the things

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

What if there is a constellation of frequently overlapping health “things” that some of us have going on, all of them connected together so deeply and intrinsically that it makes a nonsense to consider them in a piecemeal fashion? Looking into the findings of a couple of neurodivergent medical professionals who share this view I have so long held and ways we can use the information to further our self-understanding and thus empower ourselves.

When the dopamine wears off…avoiding the next crash

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

Does dopamine really mitigate pain? If so, what part does dopamine shortfall play in chronic pain conditions such as fibromylagia, neuralgia and in the delayed and often exaggerated post exertional responses of ME/CFS? How does this factor overlap with other dopamine deficient conditions such as ADHD and parkinsons and how can the knowledge of it be used to hack a better life in chronic health cases where dopamine levels play such an intrinsic part?

What is “rolling PEM”?

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

Rolling PEM (post extertional malaise) tends to come on quite late after the multiple exertions that caused it, often creeping up on you unseen and then it comes on BIG. Its a trickster because it can even feel good at the time it starts accruing…I hear just so many people saying that they felt so good while they were in the thick of pushing through the big project or doing more exercise than normal or handling the new responsibility at work, that they felt like they were over ME/CFS; that they even thought that maybe they were getting permanently better at last, that it was a sign that they were ready to take on more. At the height of the adrenaline surge, you can feel as though you are more than coping, that things really are improving, that you are putting chronic illness behind you at last, so you then feel more confident to take on more of the "normal" things than you would otherwise dare...until, suddenly, it has the last laugh! I recently heard a description of it that went along these lines: if normal PEM is a debt that you always have to pay back after the energy overspend, like repaying a bank loan, then rolling PEM is like having to pay back a loan shark with unimaginable amounts of interest added on top. You really don't want to be indebted to that kind of debt collector because it will be utterly ruthless to deal with; there will be no more negotiating or delaying to be had, absolutely no leeway for extenuating circumstances given!

Pacing 101

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

When was the last time I just sat there and did absolutely nothing for long-ish phases of time? When did I, with hands on knees, just sit and watch the birds out of the window and let my mind become blank for more than just five minutes at a time? In fact, when do I ever allow myself to be still, without my mind flooding with a dozen new and ever-more more jet propelled urges to do half a dozen other things the moment I allow myself to get going again…and then, once I get going, becoming so hyperfocused I forget to get back to my pacing? Every time I allow myself a short period of activity, I risk becoming embroiled again. It’s hard…probably one of the hardest things (if not the hardest) I’ve ever attempted but the few times I managed to really master pacing, last week I began to feel noticeable benefits that I find hard to explain in words but I felt them clearly enough. There were distinct shifts in me that I hadn’t experienced for a long time, some of them for years, which manifested slowly and subtly like ghosts of a new experience stood on the periphery, contrasting starkly with all the stuck-feelings of chronicness. The best I can explain is that my nervous system felt less compressed or jangly, my body felt less hypertonic and my endorphins felt increased, in short bursts, that almost felt like excitement or waves of appreciation and something bordering on joyfulness. I can vaguely recall feeling like that much more often, even perhaps frequently, back in the good old days, back before ME/CFS took hold in such a way that it has become a whole other way of life but I think it had been a very long time since I had been there, even for a moment, until I started properly pacing last week and now I hold out for experiencing even more of this. It turns out pacing is not this passive thing, the "absence of activity" that I feared so much but this incredibly proactive thing that lets other good things happen.

Being a passenger is not an energy-neutral activity and other hard lessons of pacing

~ Helen White ~ 4 Comments

There are a few activities, and these will vary from person to person, that are not as energy-neutral as they look for someone that is neurodivergent. Coming to realise which activities these are, in your daily life, can be a game-changer when learning how to pace in order to gain a more consistently stable footing in your health.

Stabilising the autonomic nervous system as a first crucial step

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

There is no separating the nervous system from the various different aspects of how the body has started to misfire over the years, cumulating in whatever burnout or crash led you to where you now are, however much other provoking factors (such as a virus or accident) might have taken the brunt of the blame because, after all, what makes one person respond to those things differently, more devastating and lastingly, than the next person if its not the nervous system? Post Exertional Malaise is a classic manifestation of this whilst tracking its triggers can teach us such a lot about our personal state of misfiring health.

Ehlers Danlos and reproductive health issues…the unsung song

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

The very strong association between EDS or HSD and reproductive health issues is seldom talked about, even more rarely studied. Exploring the territory of how apparently more than half of women with EDS or HSD have vulvodynia, am alarming 77% report dyspareunia, so many have enhanced menopause issues that this is often the first thing that really flags up that they are hypermobile in the first place and that's not even touching on all the other issues they may have put up with along the way, such as dysmenorrhea (particularly painful periods), cysts, pregnancy issues and postpartum injury. Shedding a little bit of light on these topics and exploring anything, at all, that helps.

Learning to ADHD pace…the hardest but most powerful thing you will ever do

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

The constant play-off between the two sides of AuDHD can be such a challenge to live with as well as such a blessing. Having parts that both provoke and complement each other is precarious in the extreme and not for the faint-hearted. It's also far too simplistic to describe ADHD (or autism for that matter) as a superpower, not to mention dismissive of its many hardships but there can be some perks when it comes to recovering from burnout, ideally before it turns into a chronic state. Exploring how ADHD can throw you a lifeline at times of health crash but also the importance of pacing...before you allow yourself to become burned out yet again!

Assessing the true price of the deep dive

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

If you are extremely prone to taking deep dives, the time comes for asking: What is the true price of doing this in terms of its impact on self-care; is it all worth it? What do I gain from this latest obsession? Is my self-care repeatedly suffering, coming second-best to my latest fixation? Have I succeeded in traumatising myself in the name of a few inches of increased knowledge? What did I lose, in terms of blissful ignorance or humanising innocence, when I opened up that latest can of worms? Should I continue or just drop it now, like a hot potato, to reclaim my peace of mind? Can I break this trend of pushing myself too hard, too relentlessly, without first assessing the value of what I am doing or whether my nervous system would rather be doing something else or even has the reserves to cope? Can I allow that it’s not always a waste of time to be less driven or intense? Can I guide my inbuilt intensity into more benign practices that generate joy and not so much discontent, fear and trauma? Can I actually learn to steer this neurodivergent vehicle of mine instead of running it off the rails?