autism

The fact I “seem” to be coping with the big event doesn’t mean that I really am!

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

My hypermobile neurodivergent way of getting through an event might not be typical and will generally involve a lot of extra strategy and accommodations but it is just as valid as the next person's and, the more I own this, the less disappointed I am with myself or my circumstances. The world does not, in any large way, accommodate people with neurodivergent sensory responses to the environment or their not insubstantial neurological or physical differences, especially if hypermobile, therefore big events are seldom pitched to accommodate us, as a minority factor in the room. The very best I can do is have my own list of helpful methods and tools at hand to get me through these big events my way whenever they happen, with a view to minimising the worst kinds of after effects sufficiently enough for me to be able to hold on to the happy highlights instead of all the low points. Here are a few of my tips to myself in case they are of use to anyone else.

Reframing PEM and considering how it may be linked to delayed emotional and sensory processing in autism

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

How could having more sensory information to process than the next person and delayed emotional processing have to do with post exertional malaise or delayed onset pain and what could any connection between them tell us about PEM so that we can reframe it in a more positive light?

ME/CFS and neurodivergence: a potential overlap?

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

There are so many overlaps between ME/CFS with common neurodivergent factors such as extreme sensory sensitivity and environmental challenges, increased hypermobility, porosity and laxity, orthostatic challenges such as POTs, increased susceptibility to viruses and adverse medical side-effects, sometimes lifelong energy deficits and frequent burnout events that, surely, the question needs to be asked...is there a credible link between neurodivergence and having an increased propensity to develop the condition? If so, how do you single them out; is it even viable to try and view the one factor in isolation from the other if they now coexist side-by-side, as they clearly do for me, or is the better headway always made once they are viewed as a kind of package of tricky responses to "life" as we know it.

Being a passenger is not an energy-neutral activity and other hard lessons of pacing

~ Helen White ~ 4 Comments

There are a few activities, and these will vary from person to person, that are not as energy-neutral as they look for someone that is neurodivergent. Coming to realise which activities these are, in your daily life, can be a game-changer when learning how to pace in order to gain a more consistently stable footing in your health.

Why “groups” don’t work for me and other AuDHD friendship foibles

~ Helen White ~ 7 Comments

Exploring the challenges of making friendships as a neurodivergent woman, perhaps late-diagnosed, following years of trials and tribulations trying so hard to find meaningful connections before you "realised" and navigating some of the things that patently don't work for our preferences (for instance isn't "group friendship" an oxymoron?), also learning how and when to safely drop all those masks.

Internalised ableism meets autistic burnout

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

Neurotypical expectations tend to come at all of us from every imaginable angle when we are autistic but, when we also internalise them and bounce them back at ourselves from the inside, the effect can be toxic because there is literally no getting away from that ableist voice now; its there night and day. Until I am prepared to notice that the voice saying these things is not mine and stand up to it, and to anyone else having unrealistic expectations of me given my autistic take on certain situations that bother me more than they can imagine, I risk repeatedly throwing myself back into a burnout status because I will never allow myself to fully recover. Every time anything that looks like a “normal” or so called “reasonable” expectation comes my way, I will simply roll over and surrender to whatever is expected of me, abandoning my desperate need to stop doing these things or putting myself in the way of highly stimulating and demanding situations and exposures in the name of trying not to rock the boat or stand out as different.

Choosing to become much more grounded in physical reality

~ Helen White ~ Leave a comment

Spirituality can be ungrounding to some autistic individuals; a controversial topic that I have intended to write about, from personal experience, for quite some time and which I have seen under discussion in some other quarters lately. Exploring the impact of a hyperfocused approach to spirituality on health, especially when, on top of inbuilt deficits in interoception, this potentially leads a person to become desperately unbalance and ungrounded in their physical body, leading to increased fragility and vulnerability.

When your autistic bluntness “gets you into trouble”

~ Helen White ~ 2 Comments

Even the closest relationships in the world can be put to the test when you are operating from different neurotypes, not least when under additional pressures. Combined with a propensity for "blunt, outspoken" delivery and a "lack of filters" in the case of at least this autistic individual, such a situation can lead to miscommunication and hurt...or an opportunity for increased self-awareness, compassion and compromise.

The importance of finding your place

~ Helen White ~ 4 Comments

So many of us put up with living in less than ideal places and circumstances, especially if we feel we are stuck with them, but what if they are the missing piece of the whole health jigsaw. If we also happen to be neurodivergent, feeling "out of place" can be become such an innocuous-seeming sensation across the course of a lifetime because we become so acclimatised to feeling like a misfit in a lot of situations; our version of "normal". This makes it all too easy to ignore times when we are really in the wrong place or situation, when we should be doing something about it, especially when our health is being badly impacted. Clues might be subtle but we, of all people, are past masters at piecing together all the signs and patterns that tell us there is a better kind of life waiting for us somewhere, one that better fits the way we are wired.

Learning to pick your hyperfocus

~ Helen White ~ 2 Comments

Hyperfocus run amok, if your neurodovergent brain is prone to it, can lose you a lot the the key moments, a great deal of the colour and richness, of actual life. The need to feel perpetually occupied in your head can be a tyrant when there are no checks in place. Learning to curate what you engage with, and when, as your latest area of hyperfocus can bring some relief and lead to far less mental exhaustion or overwhelm. By picking and choosing lighter topics of engagement, you can feel like you have taken a sort of brain holiday...without actually becoming too bored, which is probably something that you abhor to do.