If TMS is behind your chronic condition then, until you accept this and take the necessary action, you’re unlikely to move on. You have to believe in it, commit to doing the work and garner the faith that you can and will get well again. You have to let go of any negative feelings that arise from the realisation you’ve been caught in your own mind-trap all these years because it really wasn’t your fault as you had no idea and the brain is extremely good at doing this thing that it does to distract you from intense emotions with symptoms (and utterly convinced it is doing the right thing; that your very survival depends on it, thus it gives it everything it’s got). That’s a huge amount to contend with; the odds were stacked against you all along, but not anymore, now you know and can learn the tools for healing.