Rigor mortis

Why does the kind of stiffness that can be likened to rigor mortis occur in the body of someone with fibromyalgia; are there any clues why that could happen in a living-breathing person? Rigor "stiffness" mortis "of death" says it all really....it is a condition of death so what makes it appear within life for just so many people, resulting in a kind of half-life. I had been here before but this time I wanted to get to the bottom of the mystery...

Beyond meaning

Where there is no joy left, we can be sure we have excluded the right-brained perspective. When all we can see is the hard wall of the corridor we are apparently walking and the printed signs and arrows on those wall saying we "must" go this way or that, we can be sure we have lost the over-view and its an imprisonment of sorts. "Down there' we can only go one or maybe two or three routes (some of its junctions are confusing thus they seem to offer choices...) but we have lost the very point of the journey if we no longer experience the very joy that makes us want to be here in a human body. So if diagnosis only brings limitation and fear, we need to make sure we don't lose sight of that other perspective...the broader perspective that allows us to see the whole point.

What part do allopathic medical tests play in a holistic recovery route?

Receiving a set of black and white test results can make us feel very different about our health challenges; almost in a split second, like there is now something actively "wrong" with us or broken and this is one of the major pitfalls of the allopathic route. When we lock ourselves down into the perspectives of what is thought to be known or proven by “science” we shut off many avenues; likewise, when we remain open to looking at old data through new eyes, our own experiential eyes (not the inherited beliefs that are passed onto us by another) moment to moment, we leave the door wide open for a new set of circumstances to emerge, breaking the mould of any diagnostic paradigm that might otherwise have seemed so cut-and-dry, not to mention doom-laden. We might even get to turn that diagnosis around into the best news, instead of the worst (yes, I've seen this happen) leading to a very different outcome. Remember always, it's not the diagnosis that matters but the meaning that we give to it!

Building coherent structures

You need to get to know yourself as your own primary structure. You simply don't need any more structure than that which you already are -  a perfect vessel that is ready to hold the coherence of the light-energy you are ready to call in. You get to do this through the choices you make regarding where you place your thoughts and attention (the balance you maintain) and there are some things we all really need to consider when it comes to achieving that balance in the face of modern life...

Union…at a cellular level

The symptoms known only to me, that are my only “evidence” of fibromyagia, occur whenever they choose, eluding and scrambling every kind of predictor that I've tried to throw at them like an expert encryption device. Their arrival is like a seeping mist, weaving around my ankles, rising like the flick of a torch flame up the spine, enveloping me so quickly in widespread pain that I’m taken off-guard, pulled down and deep so fast that its like being bundled into sack and stolen from my own life for just as long as it desires to take me hostage. Over the years, I've followed the growing instinct to vocalise what I experience in my body in order to give it the ransom that it wants….its voice; and not in a way that feels like I am being forced but, rather, loving towards this thing, recognising what feels most abandoned about it. This thing has remained mute for far too long…I sense that above all things…and whilst Ive come to recognise the thin line between “voice” and throwing wood on its bonfire, I know that helping it to find its edges, its form, its expression is what this thing most asks of me in a way that feels like divine collaboration. To suppress it is to perpetuate its wound, to become complicit in its harms, like those who avert eyes or say nothing when an abuse is taking place. I need to see it, track it, hear its subtle intonations, notice its difficult patterns, it complexities, those things it reacts most to; to strive to make sense of what struggles to know itself without this interface of ME as its platform of both experience and expression. There’s no doubt in my mind, it's the yin coming in - this is the feminine arriving on a wave - and she will be mute and formless no more; not through me and those like me who are sensing her arrival as a visceral thing.Yet her real power moment is when her foreign (so things have been made to seem...) wave gets to meet the yang sat on his porch keeping guard over his well-mown turf; its that interplay of two impulses that plays out in the body and they both have something huge to gain from the dialogue.

What our mothers have to teach us

Maybe thats the thing about oestrogen – it buffers us from ourselves until – suddenly no longer there, there is nothing left to stand between us and the life we have embodied for years and we are left to face up to it all, in one almighty effort. The brick walls that kept away the view we didn’t want to see, the unholy mess we didn’t want to deal with, is suddenly crumbled away, the view exposed and no avoiding it and so we either sink or swim as life’s full tidal wave comes in for us to surf or get crashed by. Put simply, we have to get our shit together really quickly or it can be all too much for us, whatever’s waiting on the other side of the thick smokescreen we put up. That mess could consist of terrible, habitual, lifestyle habits or a thoroughly rotten marriage – or it may just mean we need to make some tweaks and do some straight talking – but, whatever it is, there’s no buffer any more and we feel it – oh how we feel it all...