Who knows your pain

When we are in chronic pain, or even an episode of acute pain that seems to go on and on, who do we share that with, can we even expect to share and does it make it better or worse to convey to loved ones what we are going through? Yet, do we need that outlet of saying it like it is and not feeling so isolated in our experience and, if so, where do we get that from, without stirring up the pot to make ourselves feel all the more defeated from over-talking it. This conundrum is familiar territory to anyone who lives with pain, chronic illness, even the disillusionment of daily chronic fatigue. Sharing some home truths, perhaps some helpful perspectives, from my own experience of this highly emotive topic.

The synesthesia – sensitivity – chronic pain link

Synesthesia has overlaps with heightened sensitivity and both have overlaps with chronic pain. All of these phenomenon overlap in me so you can see why I am so interested. It's as though chronic pain is the down side of the see-saw on which synaesthesia is the colourful gift at the highest end (I really wouldn't be without it and the sensory adventures it takes me on) and sensitivity is the mixing pot of both, made up of both pluses and minuses, depending on how challenging these heightened sensitivities make the experience of life. Exploring the sensory soup of these cross-over phenomenon, asking whether we are all born with synesthesia as science is now suggesting and looking into all the potential a deeper understanding of them holds for transforming human experience.

E-motion

When we think of emotion as e-motion...electricity in motion, within the body...it can have a very huge impact on how we work with health issues we are grappling with, especially those of us who are highly-sensitive or suffering from PTSD, unresolved trauma or other issues going all the way back to earliest childhood (even if we think we have processed those and moved on...) and even more bizarre phenomenon such as paranormal experiences. One particular study has really assisted me in understanding this whole, largely unexplored, area of health and super-sensitivity and I share some of what I have found out in this post.

Held

I suddenly realised how, when we are not held, every subtle sensory fibre of our body is activated by the slightest disturbance in the environment yet when pressure is closer, heavier, we're not bothered with all that peripheral stuff. This came in all at once, accompanied by just the antidote, in what felt like one of those impulsive things that never serve me ill. I had to try for myself what a weighted blanket could do for me.....

Getting my own attenton

Its not a level playing field; the way we are attached to our primary caregiver as a child can have profound and long-lasting effects on our immunity and health patterns for the rest of our life, which could explain why some people are much more prone to chronic health issues and other anomolies, even more bizarre sensitivities, than others. Attachment issues have been especially associated with chronic pain, how we experience and handle that pain and how effective we are at seeking help when we need it. This is a deep plunge into the new science around this topic as well as an anecdotally personal look at how to go deeply into this opportunity, when triggered, in order to offer yourself all the attentivenes and tender love you may have lacked in infanthood in order to heal.

Mind the gap – a spiritual perspective of chronic illness

If you don't think you are "spiritual", please don't be put off by the title but bear with me and try applying a little curiosity around this approach to healing, trusting that I'm not trying to convert you to my views but to help open up your own. We can be put off from the idea of having a "spiritual perspective" because we think it has something to do with being religious (I'm not!) or a little too "woo-woo" (OK, maybe a bit...) Really, we all have one; which is demonstrated just as soon as we consider "is this all there is to life?" and a part of us, no matter how tiny, asserts "no, it can't be"; in fact the very will to heal comes from this place - and this is you, getting in touch with your spiritual self.

Meeting what we want halfway

Helping others to help yourself is something you learn, over and over again, when you have a long-term health condition or disability; there is absolutely no point, only stagnation to be found, in a place where you “lie prostrate”, as it were, waiting for somebody to rescue you. And meeting anything that comes to help you; be that a person, a situation or a healing modality, is more of the same. We can’t just “wishfully think” our way to the outcome we want; as anyone who has ever worked with the law of attraction will have, no doubt, learned through trial and error. Squeezing your eyes tight, crossing fingers and toes and hoping beyond hope won’t get you to where setting a clear affirmation…and then taking whatever steps allow that outcome to fall easily into place, acting “as if” it has already happened…will get you. Taking the supplement, following the health regime, making the positive choices, contributing even the baby steps that you can offer up to a circumstance as "your part of it" is a signal that you are willing to make a difference and will tell the universe that you are ready for the outcome that you are summoning. It’s a learned thing; a positive habit to form, one which can be replicated in all kinds of circumstance yet with the remarkably consistent outcome of "good stuff" coming from it.

Putting your finger on the trigger point

So, if you have mystery, unshiftable, constantly morphing and moving pain affecting anything from your back to the toes and soles of your feet, to your teeth or your ears, the nerves or circulation in arms, legs or hands or those weird toxic headaches that are almost (but not quite) like a migraine and that come and go for no apparent reason, in fact anything that might seem like nerve pain, this topic might be relevant to you and the following article is the most plain-speaking introduction to the it that I've come across. If its not a recovery appoach that you've considered then, you never know, opening this door might be just what you need to get the new year off to a far brighter start.

(The importance of) saying it like it is

I used to think that tipping the balance of my recovery involved staying unfailingly on the positive side of a tug-o-war that had me desperately pulling every experience to the 'positive side', the most 'optimistic' interpretation, giving everything the 'happy' spin. All that did was give me rope burn. Lately, I've gone into myself and said very little rather than admit how much I was suffering. When we mute ourselves in our times of need, this leads to a sort of malignancy where we turn everything inwards and gnaw away at our own centre, our very life-source. It happens for a variety of reasons, perhaps to protect ourselves or others from hearing 'our stuff' - which amounts to an almighty blockage on our ability to self-express, which is the crucial first stage of any sustained healing process. There is no place for pretence or politeness where avoiding malignancy is concerned, we all deserve to be heard - both when things are going great (yay, lets celebrate) and when they have become an almighty struggle. Enacting this process is - quite simply - an example of unconditional love in action; delivered as love and honour of self and in the form of the reciprocated love of anyone who takes the time to hear you when you are in your darkest place. Let it all out and love yourself, love yourself and love yourself a little more for all you have been through and let that knowing empower you as you realise you will never abandon yourself, come what will. This exercise in 'saying it like it is' was a powerful one for me, it brought a lot of positives to the surface and turned into a ceremony of honouring, releasing and healing some very deep trauma from my cells - the process of which I share in this week's blog.

Coming up for release

In that moment before surrendering the bed to get started with my day, I cautioned myself "ok, take it steady this morning..." in my head but, too late, I was suddenly locked-up in excruciating spasm. All the signs of this likelihood had been there, from the steady build-up of widespread pain the day before to … Continue reading Coming up for release