So as it turns out, I'm not lazy, not hypochondriac, not a malingerer, not attention seeking, not making it all up, not interfering where I shouldn't, not feeble (far from it), not "over-sensitive" (ditto), not making a hobby or a hyperfocus out of illness, not collecting labels, not depressed nor anxious (except when the circumstances themselves pushed me that way), not trying too little nor doing it all wrong, not lost in self-absorption, not avoiding being a grown-up...or alive. I have been dealing with a complex multi-systemic health condition with as much grace and determination as I could muster on a daily basis. Unpacking some of the emotions of receiving a long awaited diagnosis.