Talking about the empath vs narcissist dynamic can feel like a closed topic in the world at large and this only adds to the heavy burden of secrecy and shame that has, likely, already been used by the narcissist in your encounter to ensure that you keep very quiet about the very circumstances they use to manipulate you. How long this pact of silence goes on for can have a direct correlation with both your emotional and physical health and so, long overdue, I have decided to take steps to address this...
Consider this; for whom do you stall your own recovery? Who in your world would not know how to handle a new and vigorous you; what decisions have you made on the back of your illness (perhaps huge ones, like giving up a career, selling your house, raiding your savings) that would now look fraudulent or unnecessary in the light of how you would be if this thing was suddenly gone in a nano second. So who do you think you are paying back, with interest, through your suffering? What hobbies, communities, friendships, routines, lifestyles, identities have you built around being in this club of the chronically unwell? What inner sanctum would you feel you no longer belonged to if you tore up your lifetime, long-service, membership card? Are there family members you long to be close to, perhaps ones that are no longer here, that you would feel less close to (you think) if you did things differently to them? Do you feel like you would be abandoning others to their fate if you got better "without them"? Can you allow that none of this matters…that everything can recalibrate and take on new and wonderful shapes on the back of a recovery that would have everybody clapping and cheering for you, at least at the highest level of their being. Do you fear going back into your old life, a previous career perhaps…rather, can you allow that this thing has changed you so utterly that you don’t have to do that but can actually reinvent from scratch now? That you have earned the right to call your own tune, having been through what you just went through? That the best rope you can throw anyone is to be the example of all they can look forward to themselves, just as soon as they want this enough for themselves to reach out for it? That the future this holds is so unexpected and new that you can’t second guess it and just have to summon the courage to go along for the ride. But, whatever, its got to be better than the predictable plug-hole future of “more” illness, surely....(read more).
When I made windows of recovery that were like giant leaps forwards, I started to notice how the way I was using yoga and my own thought processes to access my original blueprint was quantum mechanics in action. You can imagine, can't you, how powerful it would be to have easy access to such a blueprint on a daily basis. This is the realm of spontaneous healing; its where we get to realise our optimal selves with ease, not the long, arduous three-dimensional route within all the confines of linear time and space. Conventional healing is like being a car mechanic as compared to being the one who first designed the car and who can build another from scratch at a moment's notice, using the original design. It was never intended that we would live our lives as though our bodies were a finished product, making do with rudimentary repairs until the "car" breaks down. Inbuilt within us is the facility to rebuild the body over and over again yet, for the large part, we have forgotten that, through our consciousness, we are the skilled creators and that our lives are really like soft clay in our capable hands...(read more).
Creating a ritual of self-care really works; it grounds that loving intention into a series of favourite acts that really work for you and which can be recalled, almost without having to think about them, when you most need them. When you wake feeling awful, when your body feels less-than, you might hardly know where to start with the desire to make that feeling better except for the ritual you have practiced and engraved into your life at times when you feel much better, feel most celebratory and playful. By reenacting these sacred ceremonies dedicated to YOU - and doing so often - you anchor them into the "ordinary" fabric of your experience and can quickly draw on them, adapt and make use of them when they are most powerful of all; which is at times when you feel you have lost that loving thread, lost your sense of appreciation for all that you are, have fallen off your physical perch. At the altar of yourself, you get to gently reenact a series of self-loving acts that brings you back online with yourself and remind you - like a softly spoken "I love you" in your ear - that you are cherished and deeply cared for, that what you are feeling matters, that there is no thing beyond this intimate pause in space-time claimed for yourself that is more worthy of your attention than you at this or any other moment; because, in your life, it all starts and ends there, in the infinite capsule of your consciousness watching the experiences of life unfold. Once experienced - and repeated over and over in the ritualised form - this feeling can never be lost and holds the power to transform any experience that could ever present itself to you, be that external or even pain in your body. What a gift to yourself on the path to self-empowerment and joy.
I'll say it again, there really is no such thing as inevitable...a foregone conclusion...in matters of health or anything else. Its a mindset we fall into a lot, especially when it comes to our bodies. We assume (either consciously or so very deep down that we don't even notice ourselves doing it) that one thing … Continue reading There’s no such thing as “inevitable”