I suddenly realised how, when we are not held, every subtle sensory fibre of our body is activated by the slightest disturbance in the environment yet when pressure is closer, heavier, we're not bothered with all that peripheral stuff. This came in all at once, accompanied by just the antidote, in what felt like one of those impulsive things that never serve me ill. I had to try for myself what a weighted blanket could do for me.....
Its our natural state to go to ground at this time of year; a bit like the glorious red maple leaves which, in my garden, are being mulched by rain and heavy dew to become next year's earthy sustenance wherever they fall. We go to ground not to vacate ourselves or deplete but to go into our most authentic selves more deeply, refinding the soulful aspect that brighter days tend to chase away with their spotlight and busy-ness. No wonder this time of the year is known as All Souls; for its not just the souls of the dead but all of our spirits that shake off flesh and bone and take off to fly free in all the hours of dreaming and slowing down as days become dark and cold. This hibernation is more akin to the seed that is fuelling itself with new imaginings of what it wants to be next year; the metamorphosis that looks like dying but which is really all about creativity and aspiration.
Though many of us are shining beacons of light in a world that would be far more shadowy without us, how many of us focus on evolving our own receptivity to light so that we not only register it all around us but can bring it right into the cells of our body...and do so without pain. When we open to receiving the full bandwidth of light vibration in our cells....as our cells...we possess the power to heal anything in an instant... When we do this, without reservation, like turning all our own lights on and admitting we are at home in the body we spent so many years disowning or living outside of, we truly become that light being we always knew we were though we denied it. We complete all the work we have done grounding ourselves (which, done by itself, can come to feel way-too heavy) by partnering it with the lightest aspect of self that we could possibly bring home into physicality and this marks a new level of wholeness that the body soon responds to; as do all those we come into contact with.
Do you struggle, I mean really struggle, to adjust to getting back into your body in the mornings? Even when there's absolutely nothing to worry about, there's no stress, no unhealthy lifestyle habits to explain it, nothing that could be making your cortisol peak when you wake, do you somehow know that you are treading a very fine line as you re-enter your conscious state each day? Have you had to entrain your family to tread very softly around you first thing in the morning because loud noises or sudden announcements get your heart racing, switch on pain? Even when you are perfectly chilled in your mind, ecstatic with life even, is this your "normal" experience of waking; like it's a precision manoeuver? Its a vata kind of a thing...and there are things you should know about how to make this easier.
If you have a vata dominance, how do you ground that airy, high-spirited, out-there, mercurial constitution long enough to find your way about in a physical body...and then stay there in a way that feels comfortable and sustainable? Here's what I've learned so far:
Travelling away from home can be an extra-challenge for those of us with health challenges and sensitivities of any kind because it takes us out of our routine. It's not so much the distance but the upheaval that can be difficult to cope with (on top of the extra tiredness that comes with travel) when you probably have well-established survival tactics in place at home that enable you to cope pretty well with your health most of the time. Booking a holiday can feel a bit like planning to blow all that carefully created homeostasis to pieces in the name of having fun and there have been times when I wonder why I do it; is it even worth it (the answer, by the way, is yes). Changes in sleep arrangements and diet can throw health into disarray when maintaining that balance has become a finely tuned thing.
to fully claim my physicality....to not want to escape it, shrugging it off like an outfit I didn't choose but, rather, to feel the delight and exhilaration of it, daily, like a child that notices everything and never fails to marvel at how beautifully it all works...there are no adequate words. I would go through the whole of the journey again to have reached this point and know what I do about every square inch of this beautiful organic playground of me and how to operate it like never before, relishing its symphony of experiences and the delight of knowing how I chose to have them. It is in this overspilling love for the human bodily experience that the healing of just so many people (certainly mine) can be found and if, in any way, my experiences help to end the stalemate that has been perpetuated for just so long, between those who feel they have struggled with their own body and that they are at logger heads with it, then these words will have been worthwhile.
The subtlest sensory cues may be the prompts that repeatedly set old feelings in motion again…but if you can shine some light on their source, and send some love and understanding back to the “you” of those times, great healing can be the result. As well as seeing that original event in all its glory - appreciating what the “you” of back then was subjected to and what they survived (which can bring massive healing all on its own), you could perhaps strive to make the current “offending” circumstances very different to the ones that hold the original wound since you know now what you are dealing with and what renews that sense of unspeakable discomfort in your life. Perhaps you could even delve into the wider circumstances of the trigger event to see if you can intuit what it was that helped catalyse the deeper trauma that took place. As ever, it is the light of consciousness that heals most powerfully in all these kinds of situation; allowing you to revisit what was only a partial and immaturely-assessed picture of circumstance when it first happened to you “in the past” and bringing a new depth of understanding to it with your current breadth and maturity of awareness.
Putting together some positive personal anecdotes with new science and supplements to tackle the excitotoxicity of fibromyalgia or, put it another way, those times when everything seems to hurt (sound familiar?) - some useful breakthroughs to share!