You can find clues to lost parts of yourself in all sorts of surprise places...and they can strongly support the path to healing and wholeness when you allow them to speak to you about how or why you left them behind.
What have you gained from this year? Do you now find it easier to appreciate? On this final day of the year, if you can scrape through the sludge of a challenging year, dare you ask these very questions and be pleasantly surprised what you find under there? I did and, within moments of intuitively listing a few things, this is what I got.
Sometimes we all need a little faith in ourselves, and the gentle push of momentum, to realise we can be our own rescue party. Exploring the extraordinary power of momentum in the journey of self-healing and becoming more whole.
A magical thing happens when we get even close to wholeness; we feel an updraft, as it were, lifting us up to a new level of experience and we become the spiral that breaks us out of the tedium of circles. Suddenly, we are viewing things from a more advantageous perspective than before and everything seems clearer, crisper and more vibrant, somehow. Without having to "solve" anything, we make better sense of some of the chaos that once bewildered us and we love ourselves more completely, less conditionally, than ever before. We can tell when we are getting there as we feel the joy build in our heart and the excitement in our gut; life starts to feel appealing again, even with all its difficulties. Its as though nothing has changed yet everything has. Its fascinating how better health almost always comes in this feeling's wake; as soon as we surrender to the not-knowing part of how we got there, since this is not to do with "figuring anything out"...(cont. reading).
How can the marriage of feminine and masculine aspects "as us" result in disharmony and fragmentation of our health? Because their driving impulse is to always collaborate with each other to form a "whole" yet sometimes they join together whether or not they are in their most ideal state. In other words, distorted emotions and dysfunctional circumstances have just as much inclination to work together as the very highest examples they can offer. All they care about, as though a magnetic force is pulling them irresistably into union, is that they sing to the same key. The good news is that this means the key to our recovery from anything we care to mention is already there...within us...since all we have to do is substitute the highest expression of those feminine and masculine aspects for them to collaborate as the wholeness that we think of as wonderful health. Imagine...we have the infrastructure for perfect healing already in place and operational; all we need to do is adjust the focus!
Its easy loving self when life is going smoothly; what about when its not, when the body (for instance) throws you a curve ball at the most inconvenient moment. I realised that this thing I thought I had, long-ago, achieved like I was the grand master of this very thing - a state of total SELF-LOVE and ACCEPTANCE - was a smokescreen for a more pervasive layer of self-judgement that was still lurking in there. I thought I had this thing off to a fine art yet I could now see how I was still holding it in; within the very depths of my being like the Loch Ness Monster beneath the pristine waterline. One rocky day in my "boat" and it was still waiting there to gobble me up....
The symptoms known only to me, that are my only “evidence” of fibromyagia, occur whenever they choose, eluding and scrambling every kind of predictor that I've tried to throw at them like an expert encryption device. Their arrival is like a seeping mist, weaving around my ankles, rising like the flick of a torch flame up the spine, enveloping me so quickly in widespread pain that I’m taken off-guard, pulled down and deep so fast that its like being bundled into sack and stolen from my own life for just as long as it desires to take me hostage. Over the years, I've followed the growing instinct to vocalise what I experience in my body in order to give it the ransom that it wants….its voice; and not in a way that feels like I am being forced but, rather, loving towards this thing, recognising what feels most abandoned about it. This thing has remained mute for far too long…I sense that above all things…and whilst Ive come to recognise the thin line between “voice” and throwing wood on its bonfire, I know that helping it to find its edges, its form, its expression is what this thing most asks of me in a way that feels like divine collaboration. To suppress it is to perpetuate its wound, to become complicit in its harms, like those who avert eyes or say nothing when an abuse is taking place. I need to see it, track it, hear its subtle intonations, notice its difficult patterns, it complexities, those things it reacts most to; to strive to make sense of what struggles to know itself without this interface of ME as its platform of both experience and expression. There’s no doubt in my mind, it's the yin coming in - this is the feminine arriving on a wave - and she will be mute and formless no more; not through me and those like me who are sensing her arrival as a visceral thing.Yet her real power moment is when her foreign (so things have been made to seem...) wave gets to meet the yang sat on his porch keeping guard over his well-mown turf; its that interplay of two impulses that plays out in the body and they both have something huge to gain from the dialogue.
Experiencing ever-increasing wholeness can throw us off our footing to start with, for all it is such an upgrade to our experience. For starters, wholeness is a very different thing to what we are used to experiencing or talking about over the dinner table with others; it includes aspects of everything, even those things that others might label wrong or broken or bad….yet in balance with the extremely high points and the most incredible feelings of synergy, balance and inclusiveness that it delivers, it is in a whole different ballpark to what we have come to regard as ordinary human experience. This is a new version of ordinary, with all the dials turned up, and it is coming everyone's way...if they want it. Allow that it is probably already happening to you (here's some clues) and prepare to be amazed at how far you have already come (Read more...)
Living whole 