Those of you who have dipped into my blog before will know that I have written about oxalates a number of times and and am in the process of detoxifying my entire system from a life-long propensity to store oxalates (shard and needle-like crystals) from common food sources in the body, a trait that has is strongly associated with autism and which can cause the widespread kind of chronic pain that is associated with fibromyalgia.

I’m not here to rehash the science as I have alluded to all that many times before and refer you to Sally Norton’s book “Toxic Superfoods” if you want a coherent handbook on the topic.

What I want to share here are my observations regarding the particular places where oxalates seem to have “decided” to store in my particular body and my thoughts about how this might relate to emotions, feelings of vulnerability (especially related to autism) and the presence of tension myositis syndrome (TMS), another hot topic in this blog recently.

Currently, I am in the midst of a fairly severe oxalate dumping phase and what I am noticing is how oxalates seem to have been concentrated so concertedly around my rib cage. Its almost as though my body has been using oxalates as wall filler to fill-in the gaps between my ribs, creating an impenetrable shield around my heart for the past who-knows-how-many years. As these release into intercostal muscle and nerves, into chest tissue and skin, the effect is painful in the extreme. I’m also noticing a great many more crystals emerging through the skin of the region, like small pieces of sand that I can distinctly feel with my fingertips and which, one by one, disappear only to be replaced by others.

Through the eyes of what I have recently learned about TMS, this rather abstract sounding theory about my body trying to construct a physical shield to the heart using oxalates would not surprise me, since the subconscious brain is more than capable of creating extremely tangible, demonstrable physical effects, often using resources we might never even think of, to perform agendas that only it fully knows exist, especially if we are not so very much in touch with our more hidden emotions or if those emotions feel too unwieldy to let out!

I can shed this much light, regarding my own case: The world has not always seemed a very kind or welcoming place to this highly-sensitive, unwittingly autistic female trying to feel her way through the often unfathomable, frequently brutal landscape of modern life. The urge to withdraw, to hide away and shield myself has frequently been strong. I already know that I carry a great deal of sad, hurt, worried and frustrated emotions around my chest and upper back region and that my heart seems to reside in a near perpetual state of “heavy” at the state of the world. Back in the days when I used to attend an extremely talented energy healer, whose intuitions about me were never far wrong, and no matter how many sessions I had with her, doing great things together, she would still lament at the end of every appointment that there was still so much stuck energy around my heart region and how the primary feeling that resided in there was one of profound sadness. She commented more than once that it seemed to be a burden I had taken on for more than one lifetime, this sadness for the world, as well as all my own amassed sadnesses over the years and she worried for the longterm effect on my health.

It wouldn’t be the first time I have noticed how oxalates have gathered in my most vulnerable parts, particularly the sites of old wounds, for instance, in the flesh of my right hip over the site where my ectopic pregnancy was surgically removed (where the skin has been extremely sore and had an oddly granulated texture for years…though I am happy to report it has almost healed in the last 3 months!), also at the groin area where I was operated on (the pain has often felt like a trapped pudendal nerve coming and going at will), around my hypermobility-challenged knees and in places where I have old injuries from bike accidents and the like. This classic behaviour of oxalates, as in to gather where there has been some previous vulnerability or damage, is something I have seen reported in several places on the topic of oxalate behaviours and it seems to me that the impulse, by the body, for storing them there is a highly protective one!

Before you accuse me off getting a little too woo-woo here, consider that this “protective” role is exactly why oxalates seem to exist in the plant word (thus in so many of the foods that we eat). The most vulnerable of plants will form oxalates and use them in high concentrations in, for instance, their outer layers to protect themselves from the elements or predators. So why is it so far-fetched to consider that my own body would upcycle them in exactly the same way?

Is this, at least in part, why we tend to crave high oxalate foods when we are feeling down; why extremely high oxalate food type, chocolate, is the cultural go-to when our emotions are feeling out of kilter?

Its been a few months now since I gave up my daily chocolate habit, along with almost all nuts (though I might turn a blind eye to the occasional walnut in a salad, I usually find it simpler to announce to restaurants that I have a nut allergy to avoid any mishaps), all sweet potatoes and beets, all spinach, even in the most minute amounts since its oxalate levels are so very high, and absolutely limit seeds and legumes, including soy, that have higher levels.

The dumping process has waxed and waned but during the two most concerted phases (one of which I am currently in…) a most noticeable effects has been that the electric signalling associated with heart function seems to goes array…leading to palpitations, arrhythmias and a sort of discombobulated feeling if I overexert (dysautonomia then comes on if I push it). I can often associate these episodes with a lapse in my oxalate vigilance and/or any of the other triggers that seem to induce a dumping session. I have to presume that oxalates suddenly released into tissue and blood stream around the heart area may potentially disrupt electrolytes crucial for proper heart function, so one of my go-tos is to address mineral levels, to my own personal formula, which has taken some trial and error (too much potassium can make things much worse; magnesium is gentler and calcium is something I take with care as needed). I’ve also added in some electrolyte drops, as below, which seems to help.

Add to this heart effect the most intense costrochrondosis pain I have ever endured during this latest dump, although I have been subject to bouts of this extremely painful condition “for no apparent reason” across all the years that I have had fibromyalgia. With the hindsight of oxalates, just so many of the otherwise inexplicable pain episodes of fibromyalgia start to make sense!

This time, the inflammation has referred into my breasts which have been more painful, and for longer, than when I was still enduring monthly cycles. Oxalates are well-known to store in breast tissue and what goes in, when it comes out, can hurt yet at the same time I want to ensure that oxalates are eliminated as thoroughly as they can be…oxalates are, unsurprisingly, associated with breast cancer. Of course, if any symptoms come up that you are worried about you should get it checked by a doctor.

My task is to get them out in a way that is not dangerous, nor too hurried or so much, in terms of pain levels, that it utterly overwhelms my system and causes another health crash. Of course, this had to happen right in the middle of us being so busy packing to relocate soon but then stress can also have an impact on times when oxalates build up or (annoyingly) decide to dump.

Another factor I am noticing, perhaps because it is my chest that is so affected this time, is how oxalate dumping correlates with my long-running sensitivity to EMFs. Lately, I had been far less sensitive than for years but I am suddenly back to feeling a sort of intense sun-burn and skin crawling sensation to my chest, neck, face and hands when I hold my phone near or spend too long close to my laptop so am having to ration my technology use for a while (writing this post is taking me close to my limit for the day).

Also the super full moon last night…wow…for years, I’ve been extremely sensitive to the cycles of the moon (as written about before and something that seems to relate to my hypermobility since joints can suddenly lose their stability etc. as though something… stored oxalates?…has shifted or dispersed when the moon is most intense) but less so lately, until now! And why wouldn’t the moon have an effect on stored oxalates in body tissue, after all I notice how it changes the consistency of limescale in my kettle (this morning it was like a milky powder instead of the usual rock hard crust attached to the sides) so why wouldn’t it potentially impact how oxalates behave; perhaps whether they suddenly break down and release into soft tissues that then becomes suddenly inflamed? Again, years of oddities such as symptoms that coincide with full moon, solar flares and so on feel like they might all have their more logical counterpart in the reality of oxalates stored in body tissues. Is it any wonder I am prepared to give up chocolate and inconvenience myself a little, to rid myself of years of the kind of pain that it felt like I had no leverage whatsoever over since how could I argue with the effects of nature? At last, it feels like there is hope.

One of the usual help-aids suggested is epsom salt baths but I find those too much, causing more pain, even in small amounts, as they coax oxalates out. What I do find incredibly helpful is bathing in bentonite clay for a good 20 mins at a time. I’m also taking pure electrolyte drops in drinking water 2 or 3 times a day and have upped my calcium supplements. Boswellia helps with tissue inflammation. And, of course, I watch my diet….back to the max 3 small potatoes with the occasional meal (I had let this rule of thumbs slip for a while) and, on the whole, I find the higher oxalates avoidance plan fairly straightforward, with lots of readily available vegetables to choose from, except sometimes when I eat out…which I have been doing a lot of late, hence another potential cause of the flare.

As well as age-old mystery skin lesions that have defied all treatment miraculously healing, to become healthy baby-smooth skin again before my very eyes, I have noticed many improvements since embarking on this journey, including increased tolerance for occasional alcohol and sugar, neither of which I could tolerate at all before (though I’m still wary of the later as it can convert to oxalates…but its nice not to have to be so hypervigilant, when I eat out, as I used to be). Brain fog has cleared, my vision feels sharper, I sleep generally better and, when I’m not in a dumping phase, I feel really quite, dare I say it, normal these days…yes, there are lots of benefits!

So the point of this post is really to ponder, how may an issue with oxalates be linked to a propensity to harbour stuck emotions and also how might this be linked to autism, where having strong emotions of the kind that it does not always feel safe to express, or where the ability or tools to express them may be limited, could potentially mean they become stuck in the body, with a subconscious desire to protect them and hide them away? If that body deems it necessary to build a stronghold to hide those unwieldy feelings inside of, or if the person in question has such a strong sense of vulnerability faced with a world that feels threatening and alien to them that they feel they need an additional layer of protection, then why wouldn’t it, potentially, utilise a “protective” substance found in many foods that is capable of forming a barrier, of sorts, in the most vulnerable outwards facing tissues of the body around the most vulnerable organs and limbs, especially those where strong emotions are held?

I have often in my life experienced the strongest desire to withdraw into a shell…and, I guess, oxalates have done their very best to accommodate me.

However, the time comes when we need to consider coming out of that shell, especially if that shell is not helping us so much as harming us. Learning about my autism has, paradoxically, helped me to feel less vulnerable than I ever did before I realised why I was so different. Through better understanding of my own unique wiring, I feel more equipped to step out of any false strongholds to claim a far less defensive way of being.

A lot like the house I am currently in the process of leaving, which has been my safe haven from the world for over twenty years and yet, for a lot of those years, I have felt abjectly miserable and stuck here, knowing that it wasn’t right for me, that I desperately needed to move to somewhere else with different attributes that far better match what I need for my best kind of life, the time comes to thank the safe haven and yet gently dispense with it.

There is that old adage “better the devil you know” which keeps so many of us trapped in prisons of our own making; but then, if we can only believe that the world is more benign than our overwrought nervous systems have probably told us since some of the more scarring and impactful experiences of childhood, we may be able to find a new way of being, in less pain and in more flow with the outside environment and the other people in it.

This is where the TMS process has come into its own for me. By identifying that, while there are stuck emotions and old belief systems around safety and a need to withdraw from life locked deep in my body, my body will continue to act in this same highly protective way, I have shed light on the hidden process by which it has tried to do its best whilst actually doing me harm. By journalling these feelings out so that I can see them more clearly, I am not only helping my emotions to find a greater degree of harmony and resolve than ever before but am also aiding the process by which I heal my body from years of an oxalate problem I didn’t even know was there, underlying inexplicably intense pain levels and hugely bizarre symptoms…until I was suddenly able to see how the whole oxalate issue has been my body’s best attempt to keep me safe when all else seemed unfathomable and threatening.

So I thank it for its efforts but can now assure it that I am more than capable of taking over the navigation of my own destiny from this point onwards. There is no more need for subconscious agendas that are as uncomfortable and dire to my health as they have been, ultimately, well-meaning; and this is how I get to heal through all the layers of my being, the inside and the out, all at once.

So I say thank you oxalates…and to my body for storing them in an effort to help me out…but from now on, no thanks!

Disclaimer: This blog, it’s content and any material linked to it are presented for autobiographical, general interest and anecdotal purposes only. They are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or prescribing. Opinions are my own based on personal experience. Please seek medical advice from a professional if you are experiencing any symptoms that concern you.